


birch trees (garden weeds);

by le luci bianche (Klarisza)



Series: trees (and other emotions); [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I don't know how this happened, Love/Hate, M/M, Prose Poem, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 03:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16673788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klarisza/pseuds/le%20luci%20bianche
Summary: you treat me like a weed, like a lone birch tree;





	birch trees (garden weeds);

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pseudthisyafucks (collettephinz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sci-FI Crimes (The Bonfire)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14560236) by [Pseudthisyafucks (collettephinz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/pseuds/Pseudthisyafucks). 



> Recommended music- 'NFWMB' by Hozier  
> {Not beta'ed}

If you asked me to, I would cut off my arm for you, off would it go. Never mind what would you want to do with it. Kiss it or burn into ashes. It doesn't matter, never really did. Use me as a decoy, feed me to your wolves, make me into firewood and kick until it hurts. Use me, use me as you like and I will stand as what you make of me, even though no matter where I step, I’m still not enough for your kind. You outshine me in every way I can’t even name, it hurts my eyes to the point of bleeding. I don’t mind though, I’ll collect very drop and give it out to you on the palm of my hand, if it would only mean I’ll get to know the touch of your lips. And you would call me selfish, stupid, too dependent. Tell me I should get lost and learn to feed my own mouth. And I would do that, I wouldn’t even hesitate. You know I would, maybe that’s what scares you.  

Sometimes, when the night gets the darkest and my mind the cloudiest, I want to kill you. I want to strip that pretty skin off of your bones, take out the eyeballs and wear as a necklace, nerves tied behind my skull. The meat I would boil, cook with rich spices, make into a work of art before devouring. Only then I would feel you inside of me, keep you with me always, you would never leave.  

But then I wake up in the morning and all I want is to shine your shoes and fan you, while sweat collects in the crease between your brows. You can give me your worst and I still will take it while kissing your feet.  

Still, I do hate you. I hate you to the bottom of your perfect little knuckles and I wish I could tear you apart. Sink my teeth into your stomach and chew, chew, _chew_.  

Rip out your arms for every time they hit.  

Rip out your lungs for every time they breathed in and lent you the power to scream.  

Rip out your tongue for all the harm that passed it on the way to my ears.  

But most importantly, I would rip out your heart. Not because you don’t love me, oh no, I might be selfish, but not delusional. I don’t care whenever you love me or not. But don’t you dare to feel for her, don’t you dare to think about her when you fall asleep.  

If I could I would smother her, bury deep beneath the rubble and make you forget. Forget her voice, forget her eyes, forget her stupid fucking smile. Forget what I’ve done. Like she’s never been here, like I’ve always been the only one, _the only one_.  

Gods, I might be sick, but nothing makes me breathe as well as you do. And though bruises paint my back black, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful painting. You created me, built my being from the base and kept on changing. Changing your mind, changing me, stripping my canvas off your paint until the skin became red and raw and paint started to seep into it. Now I'm red and blue, stained until my last days, reminiscent of you in the worst ways. And I adore it, I adore having your brand on me, always visible. It's almost like I belong to you, like you acquired me. And it's true, I do belong to you, but I don't think you want to own me. As if you took my leash and tied it to your fence, sometimes leaving scraps and letting the rain fill the bowl. And I sit there patiently, wagging my tail and licking your fingers, whenever you come past me, cold and regal.  

I worship the ground you step on, crawl behind you like a second shadow. Keep every fallen strand of hair and every fingernail. I want to fade into you, climb inside your chest and make myself home in between your ribs. I would write you poems, carved into the delicate bone, eternal and pure. You wouldn’t even know I was there, nothing would change. 

Is your heart big enough to carry one more thing, or am I just a piece of flesh that grows somewhere on your skin and drives you mad with its imperfection? You never seem to answer any question, let alone one of mine. You treat me like a weed, like a lone birch tree, that slowly destroys the foundations of your house. But to be honest, I would let you cut me down. You’re the only one I would want to. The only one to tighten the fingers around my throat, to pull the trigger, to stab right in the chest. It’s not like you haven’t done that before.  

So, as I tie my bandages, I ask, who is the fool here, the one that became a reason for living, or the one that found it?  

You don’t need to answer, I already know.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Felix from @Pseudthisyafucks's fic Sci-Fi's been standing beside my head and screaming for the last week or so. So then this happened. New trend: fanfiction for other fanfiction. Perfect.  
> Also heavily inspired by NFWMB by Hozier, as you might suspect, since I recommend it for the reading. Also if you see any grammar mistakes or misspellings pls tell me, I'll try to fix them.  
> 


End file.
